In July 2015, I was honored to be inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame by the National Speakers Association. To celebrate, my husband surprised me with a brand-new red convertible 650hp Z06 Corvette loaded with all the options, including a black racing stripe. She was a dream come true. There was just one problem – I had no idea how to drive her.
Researchers like me have long studied how best to persuade. We’ve learned a lot over the years about which elements to build into a message and which psychological strings to strum with that message to elevate its success. But, recently, we’ve begun to realize that by focusing so intently on the message, we’ve missed a crucial component of the process.
Clinical psychologist Meg Jay doesn’t like the idea of bouncing back from adversity. “People do not feel understood when someone says, ‘Wow, you really bounced back from that.’ They don’t feel seen in all of their complexity, in terms of how hard it can be,’” she says. Instead, Jay likes to describe resilience as a heroic struggle – an ongoing process that can last for years.